xenia's crib

It Will Rain

2011-12-16T19:25:00.002+07:00

Tanner Patrick (!)

2011-12-13T19:49:00.002+07:00

Emma Watson's Opinion About New Haircut

2011-12-04T20:28:00.002+07:00

Source: (hogwarts)

Cool Covers!

2011-12-03T23:25:00.000+07:00

Skyscraper (Demi Lovato) by Arlene Zelina

Mistletoe (Justin Bieber) cover by Tanner Patrick. Hey those green eyes, more gorgeous than Bieber :3

I checked his youtube canal and found the other ones which were amazingg. Nah, nah.. check this one, It Will Rain (Bruno Mars). He's handsome.

Stereo Hearts (Gym Class Heroes ft. Levine) by Avery.

Me Wearing Union Jack :)

2011-11-18T23:30:00.000+07:00

Photographed by mama.

"I'm a grand-daughter of William Shakespeare, as cunning as Anne Boleyn, inherited beauty from Jane Seymour." That statement wouldn't be far from saying how I'm fond of British. Finally wearing this Union Jack shirt I've been dreaming for. I got it from 'Cherokee' store, at PIM (skywalk). I combined the shirt with unbranded short pants and black stocking covering my feet over there. There were many papers sticking on the wall behind my back. I randomly collected pictures about England--from Elizabeth I to Prince Will, UK flag, the scenery, fashion articles from magazines, or even ROBERT PATTINSON (HA! Just because he's British). Then I printed them, sticking them on the wall--I worked on it for two hours, it caused my backache.

I asked my sister Anne to get me some photographs, but she got mad after several minutes because she thought I disturbed her from working. And then, my mum saved me. Voila.

Thin & Perfect Hairs

2011-10-15T16:27:00.002+07:00

When your Asian beauty stands out. Dark skin, brown hair, and a chesnut apple of eyes. Beautiful smile to be putted, but too bad.. I can't smile.

I'm new at photography and still had a lookbook account in several days till I deleted it today. My self-esteem seemed to break seeing those photographers and experts in fashion while I had nothing to say. But I have to say the members pretty suck because.. I don't know if they're so cool that they look a bit conceited :O Always thin and perfect hairs to be adored. And branded stuffs and a good camera. Yup, you'll get the hypes. I have none of this. Not mention to be ungrateful.

Baby, I Think I've Met Brendon Urie in Person ❤

2011-09-23T20:46:00.001+07:00

Pokoknya tanggal 20 September 2011 itu hari paling bahagia sedunia :)

Jadi begini ceritanya. Saat gue gagal dalam kuis Meet &Greet pertama P!ATD oleh @bigdaddyid, gue keki dan rasanya pengen nge-unfollow tuh akun promotor. Tapi akhirnya gue biarin aja. Di suatu pagi hari Jumat yang tenang, mata gue melotot ngeliatin timeline dia yang ternyata ngadain kuis M&G lagi buat band yang gue cintai banget itu. "Kalo ketemu Brendon pas M&G kalian mau ngomong apa?" --itu pertanyaannya. Gue muter otak, nyoret-nyoret kertas, dan alhasil berhasil mengeluarkan pick-up lines alias gombalan-gombalan dewa gue pake bahasa Inggris, didukung oleh teman-teman yg mau nge-RT in mention gue dan bilang itu keren. Thanks all ;3 Itu semua worth effort.. gak percaya gue di mention dan jadi salah satu pemenangnya :)

Tanggal 20 September, hari Selasa, akhirnya datang juga. Gue bela-belain bawa surat izin boong-boongan dari rumah supaya bisa izin jam 12 siang. Saat lo mau ketemu Brendon Urie apa lagi yang mau lo pikirkan selain itu? Berdua sama Kirana di dalem mobil, berangkat ke GBK dan Kirana galau kepengen M&G Yellowcard. Dan gue dandan, berbekalkan make-up box dari rumah dan harus keliatan cantik di depan Brendon Urie. Sampe di sana, kita ngiterin GBK dan singkat cerita Kirana dapet M&G Yellowcard dengan cuma-cuma karena nemuin mobil van milik bigdaddy. Tuh kan dikata banyak jalan menuju Roma.

Gue inget salah seorang crew bigdaddy bermata sipit sempet nanya gue ikutan M&G apa, dan saat gue bilang Panic! At The Disco, dia nyaut, "Oh itu mah cewek-cewek semua yang dateng." Gue teriak histeris, merasa bangga jadi salah satu fangirl mereka. Sekitar jam 4, mas crew yang tadi manggil-manggil semuanya untuk M&G. Gue panik sendiri, nanya-nanya Kirana gue udah cantik apa belom.. terus ngulang-ngulang kata-kata yang udah gue hafalin buat ngomong ke Brendon. Sampe di salah satu ruangan ber-AC di GBK, semuanya dikumpulin berdasarkan 3 group: Yellowcard, Bad Religion, dan P!ATD. Nunggu beberapa waktu terus kami para P!ATD-ers dipanggil buat ke bawah. Dag-dig-dug-duer..

Di ruangan khusus Meet and Greet semuanya lari-larian untuk baris. Crew (orang Indonesia) membacakan instruksinya: baris untuk tanda tangan, baris untuk foto. Gue sedikit kecewa ternyata gak ada waktu buat nanya-nanya atau ngomong. And here they were.. Panic! At The Disco masuk ke ruangan dan cewek-cewek teriak-teriak histeris. Oh my God. Tiba giliran gue ke meja mereka buat minta tanda tangan. Gue pake buku cantik gue (merk: buku unik) yang gue sempet gambar kucing di halaman pertamanya. Ian Crawford said, "You draw it? What a cool cat!" dan dia bikin tanda panah ke kucing gue dan nulis 'cool cat'. Berikutnya, Dallon.. tapi cuma say hi dan diem aja. Terus Spencer, yang bilang, "Thank you. That's cool." pas gue kasih kura-kura keramik. Hal yang sama gue kasih ke Brendon... tapi.. tapi... gue deg-degan banget. Tapi ini kesempatan gue buat ngomong yang lain selain say hi.

Xenia: "Br.. Brendon?"
Brendon: "Hmm?" *mendongak, senyum*
Xenia: *stops, lemot*
Brendon: *tetap tersenyum, nunggu gue ngomong dengan sabar kayak nungguin anak kecil*
Xenia: "Congratulations on your engagement!"
Brendon: "Aww, thank you! That's so sweet!"

Waww.. I might call meeting Brendon and our eyes meeting are the best part of my life ;)

Pas maju lagi buat foto, Brendon sempet bilang, "Oh you again!" And then I got Zack photographed us ;))

Setelah M&G selesai, mulai deh gue berisik-berisik di social networking. Majang status di bbm 'I can't believe it I was talking to Brendon Urie' dan lain-lainnya di Twitter.. bikin orang-orang sirik aja sih. But after that, you know? I was thinking like, 'Hey I've met Brendon Urie, and you can't beat me!' And I felt really-really good. Nungguin Kirana belom balik dari Yellowcard, sempet ketemu Disa. Terus balik lagi ke mobil buat ketemu Tika yang baru nyampe dan nonton bareng konser Big Wave Festival 2011 started 7 PM. Pas masuk ke dalem GBK-nya, wuuahh.... I could say the stage is effin' big. With those LCDs, dan ada audio Adamson kebanggaan bigdaddy yang terpatri di tiang-tiang atasnya. Gue duduk di Yellow paling depan.

Konser pun dimulai dan yellowcard bermain, di mana gue memilih untuk duduk. Selesai itu, gue mulai deg-degan lagi.. penonton mulai bertambah lagi. Udah ada feeling kayaknya abis ini P!ATD bakal main, diperkuat dengan munculnya sang bodyguard botak dan gendut P!ATD, Zack, di panggung untuk sedikit bantu-bantu crew bigdaddy nyiapin drum atau segalanya itu lah. Setelah nunggu beberapa saat yang lumayan, LCD di depan menampilkan gambar P!ATD tahun 2005an dengan ukuran besar.. dan penonton bersorak riuh. Brendon Urie dan gelandangannya muncul di tengah kegelapan dan cewek-cewek (termasuk gue) bersorak riuh. Mereka membukanya dengan Ready to Go. Sepanjang konser mereka, gue gak bisa berhenti teriak-teriak, loncat-loncat, sama kayak gadis-gadis belia lainnya--malah cowok-cowoknya diem aja, dan kayaknya heran sambil senyam-senyum denger betapa berisiknya kaum hawa di sini.

Gue seneng mereka nyanyiin banyak lagu lama kayak The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide, But It's Better If You Do, Camisado, I Write Sins Not Tragedies (Brendon cerita tentang ibunya kenapa gitu sama lagu ini, dan lagu ini udah 7 tahun), terus dari Vices & Virtues kayak The Ballad of Mona, Hurricane, Nearly Witches. Brendon Urie is the sexiest man alive, buka jas nya dan sepanjang konser bertahan dengan kaos dalem-nya. Konser kali ini, dia sangat interaktif sama fans-fansnya... setiap ganti lagu pasti cerita-cerita.. terus sedikit nge-dance. Beda banget sama tahun 2009 di mana dia diem banget. Dengan bantuan adamson audio dan lightning yang keren banget... pokoknya gue puas sama penampilan Panic! At The Disco di Big Wave Festival ini. Mereka selesai setelah nyanyiin Nearly Witches, dan gue sedih :'( gak bisa juga kan minta 'We want more' kan masih ada Bad Religion.

Pas Bad Religion manggung, gue sama Tika keluar nyari minum eh akhir-akhirnya makan sate padang. Ternyata suaranya itu menggelegar sampe luar GBK. Kirana muncul, terus kita bertiga pulang deh. Sampe rumah gue keluarin foto gue sama P!ATD dan jadiin itu dp bbm. Semua orang langsung ricuh, gue sih senyum aja ngeliatin orang-orang pasang emoticon sedih karena iri sama gue... wahaha!

I should give big applause for Bigdaddy, for bringing them back. And that was the best concert I've ever seen in life.

Countdown to the New Season of My Favorite TV-Show

2011-09-04T18:52:00.001+07:00

After I watched two last episodes of season 2 yesterday night, I realized I can't live without this thing! I have several expectations for the upcoming season. No one as good as Rachel Berry can be the main character, and I hope to see her still exist.. with Finn. Don't graduate too soon, guys. If I didn't see them both, I would hate Ryan Murphy.. or the script writer, whatsoever.

Also one thing: Anyone could tell me how Jesse St. James could be so gorgeous? The "Prom Queen", "Funeral", and "New York" tell me so. xxx

credit to: here

Envyyyyy. I want to be kissed like this too x(

Don't be That Small-Hearted, Scorpius Malfoy :')

2011-08-19T21:19:00.000+07:00

Actually, credit to April who gave me first & already posted it there on her blog. But I can't help myself giggling at this and really want to share this here! This is about Bertie Gilbert, who played the son of Draco Malfoy in Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows part 2. He made a video which expresses his displeasure related to the moment of Harry Potter 7 premiere.

A certain premiere, he named after the biggest premiere in London, where we went to and felt "Not Belong".

Bertie cuma anak rumahan biasa yang datang ke premiere naik taksi bareng ibunya. It's London, kata dia, that's always traffic. Wah engga beda jauh sama Jakarta dong? Setelah setengah jam kena macet akhirnya sampe juga di Worldwide HP7 premiere. Di sana dia jadi malu banget, ngerasa engga pantes jalan di red carpet gara-gara di film dia cuma muncul sekitar 10 detik. Di dalem hatinya dia bilang, "Gue gak seharusnya di sini.. lari, Bertie... lari! Ngumpet di dalem box kek, goblok." because nobody knew who he was. Lalu dia ngeliat ada sekelompok orang yang gak tau siapa dia, dan mereka diem aja natap dia dengan pandangan aneh.

Berusaha buat cuek karena semua orang engga kenal siapa dia, udahlah jalan aja di red carpet... pergi ke cinema.. terus pulang. This is embarrassing, kata dia. Tapi kemudian dia denger akhirnya ada orang yang manggil-manggil namanya, minta tanda tangan & autograph. "Hey Bertie! O my God, it's Bertie! Can we get ur autograph?" For the first time, he was amazed. Dan dia bilang, it's the first time for him to sign a proper autograph. Then his mum went to him, said, "Eh Bertie, tuh orang-orang pengen tanda tanganmu." Terus dia bilang oke dan jalan ke sekelompok orang itu. Tau-taunya mereka gak tau siapa dia dan gak pengen tanda tangannya. "That was really embarrasing. THANKS mum," he said annoyingly.

Sebelum masuk ke dalam cinema ada kejadian aneh. Pas ada orang yang minta tanda tangan ke dia, orangnya itu nanya, "How do you play?" Bertie cuma mandangin dia dengan tatapan cengok dan baru tau akhirnya bahwa ada bagian dia yang dihapus dari film. Cuma betah setengah jam di after party-nya, dan akhirnya dia pulang dan tidur. Berusaha melupakan semuanya. Aww, Bertie, that's so sweet story of you! Cara ngambeknya dia lucu. Asli. I love British blokes. Watch the video!

P!ATD for the 2nd Time!

2011-08-13T20:36:00.001+07:00

Can't hardly wait for this charity event for Indonesian Disasters! For information and online ticketing: click! Come and see you again, Mr. Urie! xoxo

Hailee Steinfeld: New Face of Miu Miu and Juliet Capulet

2011-07-02T16:09:00.001+07:00

Hailee Steinfeld. She's really-really young, 14 years old and will be the new icon of Miu Miu. I had a sweater-like woolen cover top which I thought it as one of Miu Miu until I realised it actually labelled 'Myu Myu'.

But the other thing that makes me have any concern about this, is... this girl is going to be the portrayal of Juliet Capulet from Romeo & Juliet! It's directed by Carlo Carlie, and they said it's coming in 2012. Looking forward to this, since the previous one (Romeo + Juliet (1996), Leonardo DiCaprio starring) simply sux. They lamentably ruined William Shakespeare's creation by making the film like a comedy with modern settings! I regretted myself for buying the dvd especially because it was not cheap.

Guess who will play Tybalt? The unpredictable and well-known as a hottie from Gossip Girl. Psst, it's Ed Westwick!

॓.॔

Oh no, I'm bleeding!

I Had the Greatest Person Ever..

2011-06-29T22:32:00.003+07:00

It's neither my boyfriend nor bestfriend. Simply a woman who has known me since I opened my eyes..

Mum, my pride's wall is somewhat tough so I can make sure you wouldn't know any of your kindness I'm talking about here. Makasih karena udah nungguin aku les berenang. Makasih udah daftarin aku di John Robert Powers untuk menjadi anak gadis baik-baik. Nemenin beli high heels for the first time I officially own it. Buying me branded stuffs. Nyuruh aku minum susu yang engga aku suka (karena bikin eneg, mau muntahin itu), tapi karena susu itu banyak zat-zat yang kata mama bikin cantik dan dia bakal maksa terus sampe cairan itu mengalir di tenggorokan. Giving a lot of advices that I would be mad after seconds you say that.. karena itu semua terlalu banyak dan dia menjadi sangat cerewet. Pushing me for being nice to everybody. Dressing me like a barbie.. and I get mad again, saying that I had a better taste about fashion.

It doesn't matter how much I complain.. grumble.. about your finicky mouth. Probably you wouldn't know that in my heart, you're my only greatest mama.

Love,
Xenia.

Holla Russian Princess!

2011-06-16T17:13:00.000+07:00

Not only a car's name, Xenia is.. >:)
Just sharing, xoxo.

Movies to Watch 2011!!

2011-06-12T16:05:00.002+07:00

The Other Boleyn Girl (2008)

A story regarding to Anne Boleyn, second wife of Henry VIII, also the mother of Queen Elizabeth I.

The Young Victoria (2009)--the trailer looks incredibly stunning like a fairytale. Stoked to see!

AND OF COURSE. Breaking Dawn.

TV show I'd like to see: The Tudors. A story following King Henry VIII & his six wives. Even though it contains explicit sexual contents and nudity, but don't blame it. Blame the only king who had passion in women. I'm curious! :D

"You Have Bewitched Me, Body and Soul, and I Love and Love and Love You."

2011-05-20T23:43:00.000+07:00

Pride & Prejudice 2005.

If people have been attracted to this tale since 6 years ago, I've just started to love it lately. Since I was into such classic tales with kingdom theme.

I was in bookstore. Too afraid, I didn't want to take a P&P book from the upper heap. Squinting eyes looking up into small flaws on the surface of the books. I somewhat regretted myself for buying the translated one instead of the English, skipping the beauty of words by Jane Austen. My disappointment hadn't gone until I enjoyed reading on Elizabeth's point of view. Attractive--the power is in the words. Butt, the characters too much making themselves busy wandering from place to place, attending the balls... and gosh, their mouths are blabbering! Haha. Pointlessly talking so much.

But I do love Mr. Darcy. So much. He could be arrogant and conceit at first. But you know? "A man can change his manners, and a lady can change her mind." Poor Darcy. Is it that hard to confess a love? In the film Mr. Darcy has successfully mesmerized me.. he is a gentleman with eyes intensely staring at you like an eagle. I barely realized it that he actually has bright blue eyes when the rain scene.

Mr. Darcy: Miss Elizabeth. I have struggled in vain and I can bear it no longer. These past months have been a torment. I came to Rosings with the single object of seeing you... I had to see you. I have fought against my better judgment, my family's expectations, the inferiority of your birth by rank and circumstance. All these things I am willing to put aside and ask you to end my agony.
Elizabeth Bennet: I don't understand.
Mr. Darcy: I love you. Most ardently. Please do me the honor of accepting my hand.

Fashion Police on Wills-Kate's Big Day

2011-05-01T11:34:00.000+07:00

Quoted from e!online, Fashion Police: Best Dressed of the Royal Wedding: Tara Palmer-Tomkinson, Pippa Middleton, & Princess Beatrice.

The Best Dressed April 29 Poll

For sheer flashbulb power, no other than this week could rival the royal wedding. So which of these guests gets the best-dressed crown?

Xenia says: Since I'm not really good at fashion, let me just speak up what's on my mind. Blue dress that's worn by English It-girl Tara Palmer was good with that scarf. Hmm, why did Pippa wear white? Quoted from e!online (again), the white maid-of-honor would seem like a ballsy break from tradition, but England does, apparently, have a tradition involving all-white bridal parties. Pippa's tan-skin matched the holiness that shone from the white dress she wore. But that's too plain, the other one who wore white than the bride itself.

Two cousins of William, Princess Eugene and Princess Beatrice.

Crazy royal hats were on! It's like seeing many Gaga(s) on a solemn wedding. Americans would find it kinda weird, but UK actually has the best fashion-taste ever. Note that! Less trashier, more classier. No one--even Hollywood actresses-could defeat the beauty of princesses. The two daughters of Sarah Ferguson looked stunning with their youngness touch of their dress that day. Bea wore a dusty pink, a belted-coat with nude t-strap heels. She kicked it! K, Princess Eugene was out of best-dressed nominations, so I gave the crown to the only Princess Beatrice of York! ♛

Since I Don't Know What It Should be Titled..

2011-04-17T16:41:00.001+07:00

What a fluke, I'm in the mood to report you I'm still alive here. There were things that have happened in this new year, such as ignorance, worst birthday, and worst 1st year anniversary ever. They're the reasons of tears keep falling lately. I'm such a crybaby, I can't deny it. And I don't want to bear the shame of people seeing me crying, so I usually tried to cover it. But there were moments where I couldn't help my self...

2011, 28th March. I should've known that nothing left than just a silent-peaceful birthday with no surprise at all. So many people saying a happy birthday was the best thing that could heal the pain. The pain that was made by a lover who acted careless like an idiot. That afternoon Monday, he came to me and hit my shoulder saying, "Hey, Birthday Girl." And in the middle of the way home, he stopped and gave me a tiny wrapped thing which his friends had mocked at. Really, I didn't expect him to give me a BIG hug-able teddy bear like his sister had. But letting his girl going home by that kind of public transportation, and treating her like they were on the other day... so not my favorite birthday.

It came to the day when it's my first year anniversary with him...

A day before that day, I made a scrapbook contained a story following me and him from the beginning of our meet. The scrapbook was round and cute, I meant it with all of my heart. Although it hadn't been done that day, I still brought it and carried it on at the school. The bell rang as I finished writing "Bima is the father of Vettel & Alice" on the last page. He'd been waiting outside my class. I walked my feet to him, bringing the scrapbook with me. We went silent for a second as I showed it to him. He said, "But I didn't bring anything to you." It didn't matter. As long as you can spend your time with me today, I thought.

"Hey, what is that?" and everyone began to make a crowd, reading my scrapbook.

"Xenia gives you a nice scrapbook, and you just give her a keychain?" laughed his friends. But he also added another joke to make it funnier, and they burst into laughing. I tried to ignore them as any other of his friend said to him, "You are so mean."

But I saw his eyes turn into glasses-like, trying to stop tears falling from them.

"Sorry we can't go home together today. I must go somewhere. Now."

I cried. I was just thinking how hard my effort to make that friggin' scrapbook done, until I slept late last night. And me, standing here accepting nothing hearing his foot-steps leaving me behind.

But the ending was.....

"I was walking the street on my way home with a shattered feeling, then he turned and got out from his car. Best scene ever."

Back to December

2010-12-14T13:42:00.000+07:00

Last year, 11th of December. It was evening when I was on the phone with my little funny friend. I couldn't help but smirk hearing her excessive opinion about you. There I heard all the stories you've made in several past months. I was amazed to know a pathetic story about you and your ex-girlfriend. Sitting there, I was still wondering if you liked me or not. Half kidding, I told the girl about you ever looking for me, saying me cute... but hey, who could guess your mind?

The girl said tomorrow she wouldn't say a Happy Birthday to you. And it made me somewhat annoyed seeing her act as if you were really chasing after her. But I hoped you were just making a fool of her.. I hoped I could find someday that the one who you loved was just me. I shut the phone off, and the last word I said to the girl was, "Me too."

The 12th of December. I walked my feet to the class, and I passed you because my desk was next to yours. I found you talking with a girl.. I heard you mention my name as you smirked. Maybe you were talking behind me again. All I could say deep down in my heart was, please don't say anything bad about me again. I thought that day would be easier, but seeing your classmates say happy birthday didn't make me feel any better. Our eyes met.. and I saw thousand hopes light up your face. Did you expect the words of mine?

I was in two minds about saying it or not. I knew you're not turning fourteen everyday. I hold my peace as the day passed. There I was, swallowing my pride and too shy to say it to you. Two days had passed. But someone gave me your phone number. I looked down at my pink cellphone as I got home. I didn't know why saying happy birthday to you seemed so much important to me. You're attracting me. I couldn't resist you.

And there I was. Last year I said, "Happy Belated Birthday".

Vampires Suck! Sucks

2010-09-11T20:51:00.002+07:00

Vampires Suck Trailer

I don't know if I'm too retarded, because my cousin was the one who told me about this parody. She said the movie was horrible, too reckless and the faces were so far from the original. Quite enough to make me laugh for a day. It was excessively droll, although there were some crunchy :x I'm not going to rate good this movie, somehow. I just surfed around google and found many articles were titled like 'Vampires Suck' sucks or whatsoever. Yes, you hurt their feelings--Twilight die-hard fans. Beware, Canadians... they have some fun with you with a joke. And.. OH! Taylor Swift. Have they already been permitted by Swift to use her name?

Walking Through A New Door...

2010-09-06T21:14:00.004+07:00

Where are we now?

Oh yes, I believe you don't recognise me now. I've been lost, letting this tiny blog (aww) stranded alone here for months. Last time I updated was... no... February? I was reading back what exactly I've poured down in that February... and smiling :) you won't believe me, everything has gone all right. I don't know why clouds were flying up again, and moon forgot to fall down. God is good :) thank you so much, for letting me fly since back then.

I started my life back as a senior high school student. A song Fifteen by Taylor Swift could describe how it feels. It's my freshman year and I'm gonna be here for the next three years in this town. But I didn't really hope any senior boys to wink at me ha. So far so good, I could say.. although there are STILL several obstacles around you wherever you are. I'm somewhat sensitive baby ._.

One of things I commit for insanity in my new school: joining dance club. Really, I never thought I would dare to do this. Not even I saw them girls dancing for demo on the field. I used to be sure my body was all stiff and cold, like vampire's (I wish), so no. Who could change my mind? Who else? :"> Okay, Imma bitch.

Catch ya later.

Let's Back to the Gossip!

2010-09-06T20:08:00.001+07:00

With this welcome sign, I officially declare.... I'm back! xoxo
Miss me? I would love to hear that you do, fellas.

mucho smooches,

Xenia(:

Sugar, I'm Not Going Down

2010-02-10T14:58:00.003+07:00

Because a person can't really cut me down. From the first--where it all started--nothing happened. Although it's striking until obvious to the eyes, and most people around can sense it well. They told me with a wide grin on their faces, convincing me and try to collect many evidences. I just smiled, lying that I'm not sure about that. That smirk I always avoid to see, trying not to get caught up. Absent-minded look that appears sometimes. And funnily, my faith doesn't seem to refuse.

I never said I agree with them, yeah... but the flowing words seemed real to me. I lied that I don't like any of them, lying that maybe they are just an unfunny joke--though I know it isn't like a joke to me. It was unconsciously rising those stupid hopes, highly until I was sure I was seeing clouds above my head. Excessively, I couldn't stop smirking if I was thinking about that.

Until it came to a day that brought me down that day. Hurt was killing me, but I tried to hide it. I didn't know what happened with me that day, asking myself why that thing's so precious in my heart. I'm so naive, because I never declared anything. My secret is mine. No matter how it looks to someone else, I always try to keep my lips sealed. Clouds were falling besides me, and hopes were drowning. I could feel falling for awhile, and then I said to myself that nothing really mattered to me. Something happened, and that's all. It may change something in my perspective, but who cares. Everything is okay and I'm just fine.

I'm not going down, sugar.

—Xenia

I Will When I Believe

2009-12-26T22:00:00.006+07:00

Setitik benda kecil dapat menyebabkan kejatuhan. Penderitaan itu mengoyak hatiku, mengirisnya pelan-pelan hingga membuatnya berlubang. Lubang yang di kemudian hari bertambah membesar itu membuatku sakit, amat sakit. Meskipun semua orang tidak mendengarkan suara yang pelan nan lembut itu, aku selalu mendengarnya. Namun aku menyimpannya diam-diam, berpura-pura sebagai seorang gadis polos dengan mengedipkan mata sesekali dengan sangat tolol. Ada hari di mana aku tidak meggubris prinsip-ku, dan mengabaikan niatku yang ingin sekali disebut sebagai pribadi yang berhati baja. Ada hari di mana aku begitu terbuka, menceritakannya pada orang lain meskipun aku merasa agak tersipu setelahnya. Perasaan yang merasuki tubuh saat bersitatap dengan seseorang begitu kuat, seperti angin yang berusaha mencari-cari celah untuk menepiskan dinding batu.

Suara-suara hati menyerukan kalimat pertanyaan, kendatipun demikian naluri seseorang tidak bisa dijadikan panutan. Aku tetap tidak bisa merobohkan batu-batu besar yang melindungi setiap garis pemikiran orang itu, atau manusia lain—apa saja. Sudah ditetapkan begitu, dan aku begitu menghargainya lebih daripada yang harus kukatakan. Berharap akan sesuatu yang tidak pasti sungguh menjemukan, dan sia-sia. Kerap kali aku bertanya apa yang akan menjadi keuntungannya jika ada sesuatu yang mirip sampah masuk ke dalam kepalaku. Sungguh jenaka, suatu hal kecil dapat membuat bibirku melengkung membentuk senyuman karena jengkel. Aku menguasai diriku sendiri, menahannya untuk terus berpikir bahwa, tidak ada satu hal kecilpun yang tidak membuat hidupku begitu berharga.

Sukar rasanya untuk mencapai puncak, namun begitu mudahnya terjatuh ke dasar jurang. Tidak mudah menyesuaikan diri dengan atmosfer-atmosfer yang dirasa begitu berbeda. Pribadi-pribadi berbeda, wajah-wajah asing, bisikan-bisikan teredam—yang meskipun mengeluarkan senyuman hangat padaku, tetap saja membuatku begitu gelisah. Ingin rasanya aku mengetahui jawaban dari satu pertanyaan yang terus melekat di dalam benakku: ‘apa yang mereka pikirkan tentangku?’. Tidak tahu pasti, hingga membuatku terus terundung dalam ketidakpercayaan diri—membuatku melangkah dengan tidak bebas. Tidak percaya akan apa yang kumiliki, merasa mungkin saja mereka lebih baik.

Tolol. Tolol sekali.

Aku merutuki diri sendiri, ketika sadar apa yang telah kulakukan bersama ego kecilku. Tinta-tinta yang terpeta di atas selembar perkamen itu bukanlah akhir dari segala keadaan baru. Kubisikkan pada diriku sendiri, meyakinkan bahwa aku bisa melakukan yang lebih baik daripada ini. Tidak peduli betapa rapuhnya harapan itu, dan meraihnya bagai mencari sebuah jarum di tumpukan jerami. Aku akan berjalan dengan tegak sembari memikirkan betapa tidak kurangnya diriku akan suatu apapun. Akan ada keajaiban, ketika aku percaya. Ketika aku percaya, aku akan mendapatkannya. Semoga.

Points of View from People Who Live on the Doomed Earth

2009-12-17T13:01:00.004+07:00

spook_the_ghost: I seriously need this break though... So much has gone on at my school in the past month alone, it's not even funny...
nightxbaroness: what is it about? :|
spook_the_ghost: Well one of my closest friend's is acking like an idiot over his ex... And recently really hurt himself over him... -_
spook_the_ghost: -_-*
nightxbaroness: you mean, your close friend still likes his ex-GF?
spook_the_ghost: No... But his ex-BF told him something that made him snap last night and hurt himself...
nightxbaroness: his ex-BF?? w-what do you mean? :|
spook_the_ghost: His ex-boy friend o.o
nightxbaroness: HIS EX BOY FRIEND? :-B
spook_the_ghost: Ya? o.o
nightxbaroness: you mean that.... your friend is a... ?
spook_the_ghost: Yes... My friend's gay... o.o
nightxbaroness: ...........
nightxbaroness: he doesn't know that God has made a lovely creature called girl
nightxbaroness: us-lovely creatures
spook_the_ghost: But what does is matter if he's gay? The point is he hurt himself because of someone he's been trying to get over.
nightxbaroness: aren't you even scared of your friend?
spook_the_ghost: No. He's a normal person like me.
nightxbaroness: it really matters :| we're made to seek our opposite.
nightxbaroness: are there too many gays in America? I want to know :|
spook_the_ghost: Does it really matter that he's gay...? He's my friend and I'm worried about him...
nightxbaroness: okay. actually, what's with his lovely guy?
spook_the_ghost: He cheated on him while they were in a relationship and it hurt my friend very much... From what he told me, when his host mother (because he's an exchange student) found him hurting himself, she said it wasn't at all like him and she worried that it seriously hurt him, psychologically.
nightxbaroness: Oh my God. tell your friend stop acting like an idiot. go seek another normal girl. come on.... america isn't lack of beautiful girls :|
spook_the_ghost: I'm not going to tell him what to love, but he said that he was going to get mental help for his problem with hurting himself.
nightxbaroness: .......
nightxbaroness: God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.
spook_the_ghost: We have different views on the subject. Let's just leave it with that okay...? I don't want to get into religious and life views because I know it will end badly.
nightxbaroness: okay. but i am curious, is it normal to be a lesbian or homo in America? :|
spook_the_ghost: For some people... Others have your opinion of the subject, but I personally don't judge someone because of their sexual preferences.
nightxbaroness: you're a girl, right?
spook_the_ghost: Yes. I am a girl.
nightxbaroness: go try to find a good boy ^^
nightxbaroness: like saguru hakuba--awwww
spook_the_ghost: IF ONLY.
nightxbaroness: huh?
spook_the_ghost: Any boy I like at my school is always taken...
spook_the_ghost: That and I could only wish to find a boy like the always wonderful Saguru Hakuba...
nightxbaroness: yea. and don't follow your friend, will you? not normal. we--the girls--have to seek prince charming like saguru hakuba.
spook_the_ghost: My friend is a good person... He just likes boys...
nightxbaroness: hummm....
nightxbaroness: :)

Just one word: creepy.

Grudge

2009-12-06T15:26:00.002+07:00

Aku tidak suka.

Dan aku tidak mau terbelenggu oleh ceritanya yang terkesan superior. Kesan 'wah' itu hanya akan ditangkap oleh orang lain, tentu. Tapi tidak untukku--sebaliknya, aku malah benci. Benci melihat bagaimana hidung kembang-kempisnya bermain sementara cerita hidupnya dibuat seolah-olah itu adalah sebuah cerita klasik zaman Victoria. Oh, rupanya di situ dia akan berperan sebagai seorang tuan putri. Tentu, aku tidak menggunakan mulutku untuk bertanya padanya, karena aku sudah tahu pasti apa yang akan menjadi jawabannya. We used to be friends, but now... we're no longer.

Aku tahu benar bahwa semua orang berubah seiring dengan berjalannya waktu. Dan akan tiba waktu bagiku untuk mengalami hal yang sama. Namun, bukan ini yang kuharapkan dari seseorang. Kesan pertama saat mengenal seseorang memang terkesan manis, karena semua orang mempunyai topeng untuk menutupi sisi gelap mereka masing-masing. Mungkin aku agak picik, dan sensitif--sehingga terlalu mudah untuk membuatku membenci orang lain. Oh, yang benar saja... seolah-olah tanpa dosa bibir mereka bergerak-gerak saat mengucapkan hinaan yang tidak pantas? Aku tidak terlalu baik untuk mendengarkan itu semua. Dia tidak pernah mengenalku sebaik orang-orang yang berada di sisiku. Dan tolong jangan berbicara seolah-olah kita selalu bersama-sama layaknya teman dekat. Kita bukan lagi, kan?

Ingin rasanya aku memberikan cermin padanya, agar ia sadar akan dirinya yang sebenarnya. Meskipun terkadang cermin selalu diibaratkan sebagai pantulan dari yang asli. Ha, lihatlah cermin itu! Apakah kau lebih baik dariku? Tidak. Ia tidak akan pernah mendapatkan posisi di mana sebuah mahkota cantik diletakkan di atas kapala. Tokoh antagonis tidak akan pernah merenggut kemenangan di cerita klasik manapun. Orang itu tidak akan bisa memperlakukan dirinya bak seorang putri dari kastil megah yang terletak di atas bukit. Aku memainkan peranku jauh lebih baik. Tertawalah keras-keras... dan kita akan melihat siapa yang akan menangis darah di saat-saat terakhir.

110 New Moon Trivias by Xenia

2009-11-29T19:08:00.010+07:00

#001: Edward is still charming.
#002: Jacob Black is less hot than Edward.
#003: I like the way Jasper's eyes blink while he's talking.
#004: I can sense that the eye colour of The Cullens becomes more shining like honey.
#005: Oh yeah... Alec can't beat Jasper for beauty case.
#006: Carlisle looks so.. oh... when he's examining Bella's injury. So, he's still my favorite.
#007: Rosalie's appearance is gracious, just like me.
#008: The humour senses are good.
#00..:

#107: "This may hurt just a little."
#108: Someday I'll have Jane's epic gestures.
#109: I want to have an elder sister like Alice Cullen.
#110: New Moon is better than Twilight.

Not Important.

2009-10-27T19:43:00.006+07:00

Today I got the shitty piece of papers where ICAS result is supposed to be there. I was not really surprised of course, considering the result has been announced and I thought I would throw it away to the rubbish bin a minute later after seeing the paper.. and the fact, no. That was the first time I attending a terrifying English assessment like that, and I would make it to be my precious lesson. No matter what, I'm still Indonesian who should keep struggling on importing the other languages into my dictionary, or exactly head.

Can you see them? Ah, nevermind. I don't mean to make them clear and you wouldn't care, anyway.

Don't Stop Believing

2009-09-09T20:32:00.005+07:00

Fall Out Boy featuring Brendon Urie of Panic! At The Disco cover Journeys Don't Stop Believing live at The Pageant in Saint Louis, Missouri. Exclusively to REDNIGHTS on August 19th, 2009.

Aww, man.. I barely knew that Brendon's voice in this song is wicked perfect. More than enough to make me dream of him and me singing 'Don't Stop Believing' in la la land.

Just a small town girl, livin in a lonely world
She took the midnight train goin anywhere
Just a city boy, born and raised in south detroit
He took the midnight train goin anywhere

A singer in a smokey room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlight people, living just to find emotion
Hiding, somewhere in the night

Working hard to get my fill,
Everybody wants a thrill
Payin anything to roll the dice,
Just one more time
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on

(chorus)

Dont stop believin
Hold on to the feelin
Streetlight people

Bandwhores are Always be Disturbers

2009-09-05T22:55:00.013+07:00

I hate this whore. Everybody knows Brendon has been dating with Sarah O. and it convoked various reacts from the fans, especially the fangirls. Okay, call me as one of them--those fangirls, because I hate them being together and Sarah's magic thingy which made her end up with him. AND them, Panic! fans who have sweet attitude to Sarah, couldn't stop talking about how sweet they're together... cute couple.. euh I want to puke (I read discussion forums). Please people, you don't know her. So stop talking like she really makes him happy as you said. Fine, I don't know about that either, but I'm sure my dislike is reasoning (HAHA of course it hell is).

La la la but now that hellosawah has gone from Twitter without her foot prints. I wonder if they are still dating, but maybe they are not dating anymore, I thought. The purpose of Sarah making Twitter account is just boasting in front of Brendon fans about their relationship. She didn't try to make it private, like when she was meeting Brendon for a date and tweeted it and then Zack Hall tweeted her not to do that. After William Beckett, Jeremy Davies, my Brenny, who's next? Sarah whores around band members for a living. Brendon would be better if he's over with her. Oh tell me that recent video on youtube that called 'Brendon dedicates a song to his girlfriend' is not true.. because if it's true, they're still together. Brendon is still being tricked by her bitching magical power.

I want to share this to you, which I got it from someone's blog while she got it from livejournal.

gimmesomeweed
2009-05-08 12:33 am UTC (link)

Dear fellow Buzznet viewers,
I dropped off the face of Buzznet for awhile there, to realize it’s become complete bullshit.

Now tisk tisk Sarah, I really don’t mean to do this to you, but maybe you shouldn’t be such a band whore.

Number fucking one)
I had Sarah on my facebook list
I could view her pictures and her mini feed up to the point when she joined facebook.

Jeremy Davis (Paramore) and girlfriend of 3 years, Sarah broke up in January, Sarah was listed out of a relationship on facebook January 30th 2009.
And listed BACK IN one on the 15th of February, literally her “Relationship” with Brendon Urie started two weeks after Jeremy cheated on her.
Fact:

I need to get screencaps but this note has a point, I need an FBR trash admin to post my caps for me ;).
for now I have wall posts sent to her friends in January when she was still dating Jeremy, referring to Brendon.

Wall post number one:
Exhibit a)

Sarah Orzechowski at 3:47pm on January 9th, 2009
im laughing at how people…well, his fans- are really like saying “im here for you, i hope youre okay” and “i heard u and sarah broke up and shes talkin shit” likewhaaaaaaaaaaat????? these people are so fooled that it hurts. like yes everyone, i am to blame, i am the bad one here. hahaaha. okiedokie. awesome.

(This was posted the 9th of January and she wasn’t listed out of a relationship until the 30th)

Don’t ask how, but I managed to comandeer Brendon’s Aim/ichat

Brendon’s Aim icon changed to a picture of Sarah and him, with Sarah wearing his green rolling stones shirt, this happened on the 18th of January.

(brendon’s aim sn) - feels so good to be in love <3.

When I went to send a message it said he was in a video conference, must have been with her.

It makes me angry to even think that she’s totally playing him considering Jerm and her didn’t “officially” break up until the 30th of January, and she was buttering Brendon up the whole time.

Exhibit b)

Sarah Orzechowski at 4:29am on January 9th, 2009
haha I just noticed your little status msg on here!! I love it!!! :) :) ok see you at 6 for our intense workout plan. oooo girl bedazzle me UP! I’ll really make an impression then! danielle can even help. mmm so hot right now. haha

travie<3 bu <3 ..whoever comes first ;)

COME ON! You little slutbag, whoever comes first?…fuck I’m sad for Brendon, he’s so in love and she just didn’t care either way…

Exhibit c)

Sarah Orzechowski at 3:30pm on January 11th , 2009
yo he digs he digs he digs ..ive never felt this way before about anyyyoneee! I cannot wait for mrrffdayy..

Sarah Orzechowski at 6:15am on February 7th, 2009 baby girrrrl ill be outa town for my birfffday : ill be in michigan the 10-23rd then *malibu* the 24th-2nd. so ill be back here probably the 4th? so itll be a late celebration party!? but i want u to plan for sure! ur good at that :) he’s been treatin me like a princesss.

Yea and you don’t deserve it.
You have ridiculous boy hair.
And nobody wants you in a relationship with Brendon anyways.

If your supposed to be such a camera whore, why no pictures with him?
I’m done proving my point

Sarah Orzechowski is a stupid band whore and she should be sentenced to years of surfing lessons because she sure as hell can’t surf with her rockstar boyfriend.

Comments?

-kiki

And if that's TRUE, Brendon has thrown his loyalty to the wrong person. Evidences proved that she's a fuckin whore. You don't deserve that Sarah so fuck off to bitch with other band members as long as it's not my lovely Brenny anymore.

ps. I'm done here. I know some of you don't get this one ha-ha-ha.

Paper Shits are Burning

2009-08-29T10:29:00.010+07:00

I can finally see the truth.

Most people said that I'm too good in english. Maybe they somewhat exaggerate things. If I'm that good in english, I would be able to answer the all questions in that competition easily. In fact, I was not able. You may laugh at my worthless confidence. Those question sheets made me think how minim the chance for me to win the first place. Okay, that's my first experiment of attending international competition, and my english was too poor for that. I just think.. this is so lamentable, I even remained few more questions to have done. Maybe some of my friends have done all the questions.. and if they have possible chance of winning the competition, I gotta find some place to hide my face. Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely a jealousy person for something I have speciality in it. It saddened me and easily made me drop the tears. Yet we don't know the result, however...

I Saw the Waves Coming to Me

2009-07-31T14:15:00.008+07:00

Minggu kemaren, gue pindah sekolah. Awalnya sih gue santai-santai aja, tapi setelah semuanya telah selesai diurus dan tinggal waktu bagi gue untuk sms teman-teman buat pamit, gue agak panik. Dengan besok yang telah tiba waktunya hari pertama di sekolah baru, gue berusaha meyakinkan diri bahwa ini bukan sesuatu yang jelek. Gue ke sekolah baru dengan masih memakai seragam batik hijau sekolah lama. Malu ga ya? Sepertinya engga terlalu, soalnya gue ga buruk rupa, kan? Haha! Tapi anehnya setelah pulang sekolah di hari pertama itu, gue nangis di rumah. Bukan sesuatu yang aneh mungkin, mengingat itu baru hari pertama dan gue belom bisa menyesuaikan diri. Gue merasa asing. Masuk ke tempat yang belum pernah gue lihat dan akan belajar di sana selama setahun. Kalau seorang pangeran yang dijodohkan dengan seorang putri bangsawan yang belum pernah ia temui, berkata, "Aku tidak mengerti, orang asing seperti dirimu tiba-tiba masuk ke dalam hidupku." Wow. Itu jelas berbeda dengan sesuatu yang telah terjadi pada gue.

Tapi ini bukan saatnya bagi gue untuk merengek karena belom menyesuaikan diri. Kepindahan ini hanyalah batu loncatan bagi gue untuk mencapai SMA negeri di Jakarta nanti. Gue belom terlalu mengenal seperti apa orang-orang yang sekarang satu kelas dengan gue. Tapi gue berharap mereka baik-baik saja. Tidak membicarakan orang di belakang. Dan kalau itu benar terjadi, why should I care? But don't get me wrong. I just don't give a focus on them now. Di detik sekarang ini pun, gue sendiri juga ga tau apa yang gue rasakan. Menyesal? Sedih? Senang? I have no idea. I just want to thank God for everything in my life. Dia memberi terlalu banyak pada saya. Jika saya merasakan sedikit kepahitan sementara Dia telah memberi saya sesuatu yang lebih daripada kepahitan itu, saya rasa itu tidak terlalu bermasalah.

Beuh, kok jadi melebar ke mana-mana, sih? =]

Last Tuesday, 28th of July, Panic! At The Disco merilis single terbaru mereka yang judulnya New Perspective. They totally made me that day. Err, kalo mau denger, bisa download di sini.

I wanna live a life from a new perspective

...

Oh iya, minggu kemaren tepatnya hari sabtu, gue sama Jundi nonton Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Tepatnya di mana, itu ga mau gue kasih tau. Soalnya kasian Jundi-nya.. gue-nya juga kasian, hahaha. Kata orang-orang HP6 itu jelek. Maaf, tapi gue ga bisa setuju. Bagi gue, film Harry Potter itu selalu amazing. Kalo elo denger gue pernah bilang ada film Harry Potter yang jelek, gue cuma basa-basi. HP6 ini lebih bagus daripada HP5 yang kesan terburu-burunya keliatan banget. Di sini banyak humor-humornya yang sukses bikin gue tergelak. Asal lo tau gue naksir abis sama si Cormac McLaggen yang arogan. Ga nyangka gue dia begitu oke di film. Apalagi yang pas uji-coba Quidditch, McLaggen menghalau Quaffle-Quaffle-nya dengan action-action yang berbeda... ga kayak si Ron yang mesti pake kepala, hiakaka. Terus cara McLaggen memandangi Hermione di acara jamuan Slughorn. Smexy abis. Pandangin gue aja dong.

Tom Riddle masa remaja, astaga-astaga... masih kerenan yang di HP2 sih, tapi dingin-nya itu kerasa banget sampe menusuk ke dalam tulang. Engga sih, yang itu lebay. Pokoknya dia keren walaupun rambutnya potongan culun dan pipinya tembem. Perasaan yang namanya Voldemort itu tirus deh. Narcissa Malfoy ga secantik yang gue bayangkan. Lebih cakep Bellatrix kalo gue bilang. She's definitely cool! Dari langkahnya yang menginjak-injak meja makan, dan caranya membakar pondok Hagrid dengan satu lambaian tongkat. Ke-ren. Draco Malfoy... hemm, lumayan menawan sih tapi rambutnya tipis banget, gue jadi agak gimana gitu. HAHA, ta-tapi yang pas di kompartemen itu beneran gagah lho. Dia punya teman-teman yang keren. Ada Pansy dan Blaise.

Goodbye. xxx

Hey Moon Please Forget to Fall Down

2009-07-07T15:16:00.017+07:00

July 6th, 2009

We just wanted to let you know, that the news of Ryan and Jon leaving the band is unfortunately true. It’s been an amazing journey being in a band with them, but sometimes individual tastes take friends in different directions and you can’t ignore it. They are some of the most talented guys we know, and we’re sure that whatever they do next will be great. That said, Panic At The Disco is alive and very very well. We are working on new songs that we are excited for you to hear. Our dates with Blink and No Doubt start in a little less than a month, and we wouldn’t miss those for the world. We know everybody has a lot of questions at this point with everything being so out of the blue, most of those should be answered in the coming weeks. We appreciate every one of you, and hope you continue with us on this incredible ride.

Pay attention we have a surprise in store for you.

-Brendon and Spencer

PS we were cleaning out the practice space and you’ll never guess what we found!

http://panicatthedisco.com

It definitely shocked me. I thought they would never split up because they look fine. I know every band will meet this time but very unexpected, it happens to panic at the disco now. Well, it's almost. Ryan and Jon left the band, which means they lost the half of patd members. What the--? Ryan Ross is the important person in the band, remembering he's the lead guitar and also song-writer who made great lyrics. We won't hear him as backing vocal and melody sound from his guitar again. Also Jon's bass too. I remember the first time I saw their I Write Sins not Tragedies video clip when I was in fifth grade. I said the vocalist looked queer with his style and my friend disputed with said that he's handsome without those things. And she's damn RIGHT! I love them, seriously. Their songs seem like giving everybody its minds. This news saddens me, of course, like everybody who loves them.

Tell me I was right for grumbling to him. And don't tell me I was too overreacting, haha. Yes, he's the only one to blame. I really hope Bden and Spence will be successful in holding panic at the disco. Now they're just both of them. We know it's sad knowing panic at the disco will not be the same again whereas they're about to release their third album. I just keep hoping for their best to continue creating songs for their fans, and not letting them disappointed.

It sounds like a dream. The bad one :(

Your Blog is as Deer to me as Cupcakes

2009-06-30T22:02:00.010+07:00

From Jundi.

What is your current obsession?
Finishing my novel.

What is your weirdest obsession?
Marrying a handsome but chilly prince then becoming a princess, being friends with famous people.

What are you wearing today?
A light blue Tommy Hilfiger Denim shirt and blue Adidas shorts.

What's for dinner today?
McDonald's.

Why is today special?

I don't think today is special, babe.

What would you like to learn to do?
Anything aristocrats do.

What's the last thing you bought?
Ups, I forgot.

What are you listening to right now?
Lots of. I can't mention. Come to see my iTunes!

What is your favorite weather?
Snowing. Never have experience with it though but I always think that I like it.

What is your most challenging goal right now?
Haha, I never think about it right now.

If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
Los Angeles. I want to see the location of world's film industry.

What would you like to have in your hands right now?
Money.

What would you like to get rid of?
There are lots of things.

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Greece, maybe? Taking a walk in Athens :D

Which languange do you want to learn?
Dutch. It's kinda awkward I have Dutch blood but have less knowledge in its language.

What do you look for in a friends?
Loyalty, really.

Who do you want to meet in a person?
The fiction characters in stories or movies =]

What's your favorite type of music?
Pop, rock, easy listening, and suitable for specification.

What's the favorite piece of clothing in your own closet?
I pick the branded ones as my fave.

What is your dream job?
Nah! I have several. They are Hollywood actress, model, author... HAHA, I'm just kidding! But I'd love to become a famous person in the future. Maybe as a famous author.

Any favorite models?
Alexa Chung, Daisy Lowe, Jessica Stam, Agyness Deyn. What about Scene Queen models? I adore Hannabeth! lol.

If you had £100 now what would you spend it on?
Shopping branded stuffs.

Do you admire anyone's style?
Naw. I would never.

Describe your personal style?
Preppy and Glam.

Favorite designer?
Anna Sui.

I Give you this Hot Korean Boy stabbed

2009-06-18T14:41:00.012+07:00

*nose-bleeding*

I have a new dream. What's dat? If I have been in senior high school later, I want to have a boyfriend like him.

Photos by flickr

Lee Min Ho as Goo Jun Pyo

Nice try to dream!

New Skin Again...

2009-06-18T13:32:00.002+07:00

HAHA.

Sebelumnya kan skin-nya yang warna putih itu. Tapi terlalu simple dan gw ga TENANG! Akhirnya ganti ini deh. Gw jadi inget, waktu itu ada seorang manusia yang pernah bilangin blog gw itu crunchy. Maksudnya, skin-nya itu... kebanyakan gambar yang bikin loading nya lama. Sebenernya dibilangin gitu juga ga bakal berubah. Gimana ya? Ternyata gw ga suka yang simple-simple. Sukanya yang bagus dan keren. Karena kalo engga begitu, engga bakal membuat perbedaan dari yang lain. Well, that's me.

Sorry bacot.

Commenting to Boys Before Flowers

2009-06-17T12:22:00.021+07:00

Ehem. *a la paparazzi*

Saya akui drama Korea mampu membuat penontonnya terduduk di depan TV selama berjam-jam. Hal yang tidak mungkin dapat dihasilkan oleh sinetron Indonesia jika sinetron ada DVD-nya sekalipun. Saya nggak terlalu freak drama-drama Asia, paling nonton drama Korea saja. Dan itupun kalau benar bagus. Kalau dihitung-hitung, yang pernah saya tonton dan disukai paling: Sassy Girl Chun Yang, Full House, Princess Hours, apa lagi? Sekali lagi saya bilang, drama Korea memang dapat membuat seseorang yang menonton episode pertamanya, penasaran dengan episode-episode selanjutnya.

Boys Before Flowers sedang digemari oleh banyak orang sekarang ini. Pada saat itu, malam hari, salah seorang kakak saya membawa dvd drama Korea yang satu itu. Penasaran tentu saja membuat saya menontonnya, padahal besoknya saya masih ujian. Selama beberapa hari saya tamat menonton Boys Before Flowers yang berjumlah 25 episode, walaupun agak kesal dengan translation-nya yang kebanyakan acak-acakan dan tidak bermutu, jadi seperti bahasa Malaysia (maklum bajakan). Dan saya suka sekali dengan Boys Before Flowers yang lucu ini. Mau tau apa sebabnya? Hmm, saya nggak bakal menyukai suatu drama Korea jika laki-laki yang menjadi pemeran utamanya tidak mempunyai wajah yang good-looking. That's why I love Goo Jun Pyo, the leader of F4 in Boys Before Flowers. Sangat sangat keren parah, menarik perhatian saya. Walaupun tampangnya mirip To Ming Se itu. Lee Min Ho sangat baik dalam memerankannya.

Akan tetapi ada beberapa bagian yang membuat hati saya terkoyak. Saya paling nggak suka bagian di mana si karakter utama punya masalah yang menimpanya dan orang yang dicintainya, sehingga mereka nggak bisa bersama untuk sesaat. Ini kan banyak sekali terjadi di Boys Before Flowers, apalagi saat ibu dari Goo Jun Pyo muncul. Wanita tua yang lebih mementingkan penghargaan diri itu selalu berusaha memisahkan Goo Jun Pyo dari Geum Jan-di yang miskin. Biasalah, konflik konglomerat sama orang miskin, xixixi. Bagian-bagian yang sedih lumayan banyak di saat pertengahan dan menjelang akhir cerita, membuat saya berusaha menahan jatuhnya air mata. Meskipun akhirnya happy ending. Arrgh, pokoknya saya suka bagian-bagian yang bahagia sajaaa.

I Got myself these Days

2009-06-12T12:05:00.013+07:00

Hello, my blog, how are you? I wonder if you were crying here because I didn't post anymore. If so, please don't. Hahaha, I'm talking to this journal. Don't get me wrong. Well, it's been so long since I made last post here. This week I had final exams and I used my head not to turn on my suck computer. Well, I turned on occasionally. NO, just occasionally. I want to get good scores for my exams remembering my bad mid semester scores. Okay, please forget that thing. And the result is... yet I don't know my scores. I give up about math, I give up about science. I didn't want to be down to my feet asking to the teachers, 'Hello, teacher, how's my score?' in many times, in one place, teachers' office.

I want to scream, 'Holidays, I'm coming!' right now. Of course, every student loves those days except study-all-day-long people. It's well-pleasing to leave my school for few weeks, really. Forgetting about not-such-good- f*ie*ds that I can't ever understand. For few days I learned not to turn to rage facing something like that. Oh, I want to puke alone if I always mention that again and again. I just wonder, if all these holidays has been passed and I'll walk by car to the school. I'll enter the class and confused of whom I'll sit beside, of whom I'll speak to. Hahaha, I'm the only one who don't really get along with my close classmates. If they're longer claimed as my friends :) . Once again, I've learned well! And I hope on my bearing.

About holidays, where will you go? I don't know exactly where will I go. Yet no decisions, decisions. Continuing my novel is a great activity for now on. But I'll insist my parents to go somewhere, of course! I will not let my holidays left all useless. Happy holidays, everyone!

Time to Dance

2009-04-25T09:20:00.009+07:00

Di tag sama Olive. Makasih deh, mumpung engga ada kerjaan.

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag 5 friends...
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6. Have Fun

SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
I'm not Okay - My Chemical Romance
Keinginan untuk berkata begitu, tetapi kenyataannya lebih sering sebaliknya.

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?

Cold As You - Taylor Swift

Gw orangnya agak kaku pada stranger. Kaku itu menjurus ke dingin. Dingin --> cool. Wow.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

A Perfectly Good Heart - Taylor Swift

Untuk apa suka orang tapi engga baik ke gw? Jadi yang utama hatinya dulu dong.

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Nine in the Afternoon - Panic at the Disco
Ada sesuatu yang membuat hari ini terasa berwarna.

WHAT'S YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Popular - the Veronicas
Buakakakkaka, engga tau deh gw.

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Keep Holding On - Avril Lavigne
Biarpun mengalami kejatuhan, harus bertahan!

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
I don't Care - Fall Out Boy
Should you care if your friends have nonsense thoughts about you? The answer is no.

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Thinking Underage - Teddy Geiger
Mungkin mereka tidak menyadari ada sesuatu yang lebih dari gw?

WHAT IS 2+2?
Attention - the Academy is...
Have no idea :|

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIEND?
Gives You Hell - All American Rejects
Haha.. kadang-kadang mereka berbuat yang tidak mengenakkan. Ingin rasanya 'gives hell'. Kidding, perhaps.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
La La Land - Demi Lovato
Yeah, gw bukan supermodel. Hanya cewek biasa yang masih makan McDonald's. Love the lyrics.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Hollywood - Jonas Brothers
Pernah bermimpi menginjakkan kaki di Hollywood? Keren kalo itu terjadi pada diri gw B-)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
If I Never See Your Face Again - Maroon 5 Ft. Rihanna
Gimana ya? Ha.

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE AT YOUR WEDDING?
Flightless Bird, American Mouth - Iron & Wine
Pas lho! Nuansanya classic banget.

WHAT SONG WILL PLAYED AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Cancer - My Chemical Romance
Wow, cocok sekali! Lagunya sedih, bertemakan orang yang terkena kanker. Sooo dramatic. Makin termehek-mehek deh entar sanak sodara gw di pemakaman. LOL.

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
That's What You Get - Paramore
Mempunyai interest di sesuatu yang gw miliki. Sebenernya engga ada ide.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
I Write Sins not Tragedies - Panic at the Disco
Membuat dosa yang besar kali ya..

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
It's Over - Jesse McCartney
Sudah berakhir untuk mengorek-ngorek rahasia gw >:)

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
7 Minutes in Heaven (Atavan Halen) - Fall Out Boy
Sesuatu yang menyenangkan pastinya. Hell, I have no idea.

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?

Time to Dance - Panic at the Disco

Kerjaan kecil untuk mengisi kejenuhan gw. \:D/

Males deh ya gw nge tag, rofl. Yang mau ambil aja oke? :)

Sweet Dream and Fabulous Award

2009-04-10T10:18:00.005+07:00

When you had a bloody great dream last night, you can't get it off from your mind. And that's normal. But unfortunately, that was just a dream, and too little probability to happen in real world. Maybe you can just say 'wow' with your mouth shaping rounded when you're awakened. Yes, believe it or not I had a very nice dream last night and I'm going to tell you right now. It must be immortalised. I'm serious. I'm not even laughing right now.

Ryan Ross.. I was surprised meeting him in my dream. Not only him, actually. I met other Panic at the Disco personils too, but Ryro was even like my opponent role while I was the main role. I don't know where it started when I was getting close with Ryro and we were going on a date. We were going hand in hand! xD I could feel how soft his hand-skin is, OMFG--it's as if he often milkbathing. We got dinner together.. and I also had his chat ID so we had been chatting each other. At the other time, we were taking a walk and suddenly Ryro said, "Brendon said that you're getting more beautiful." BLOODY HELL! I was confused since we all never met each other. "Since when he compares me like that? We've never met," I said. And Ryro answered, "Since he saw you when Panic at the Disco concert in Indonesia, 17th August." Confused was still not gone from my head, because when I got to that concert, my ass sitten on tribune. How could Brendon see me? Too far.

OHMYOHMYOHMY this dream was bloody insane! HAHAHA! And I liked it. The point is I was Ryro's GF and we spent time together EVERYDAY. It's as if I forgot about Brendon.
Hey, what the hell? You know what? My question is: why was that all just a dream? Why wasn't a reality?! Yeah, I know that's impossible -__-; Probably this is the best dream I've ever had. I still expect so much better dream. God, please help? At least, make my good dreams to be reality. Hahahah..

***

Dear Jundi, thank you for nominating me as one of fabulous blogs. I'm honoured. For especially in second place?

1. Put the logo on your blog or post

2. Nominate at least 10 blogs which you think are FABULOUS

3. Be sure to link your nominees within your post

4. Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog

5. Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received your award

The nominates are Ghina, Wina, Dhilla, Jesse, Lulu, and Yesa. Who else?

Dear God - Avenged Sevenfold

2009-04-05T10:27:00.009+07:00

Dear God

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find
While I recall all the words you spoke to me
Can't help but wish that I was there
Back where I'd love to be, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around
when I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

There's nothing here for me on this barren road
There's no one here while the city sleeps
and all the shops are closed
Can't help but think of the times I've had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around
when I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

Some search, never finding a way
Before long, they waste away
I found you, something told me to stay
I gave in, to selfish ways
And how I miss someone to hold
when hope begins to fade...

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around
when I'm much too far away
We all need the person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

Sigh.

Gerard's look, My Chem, and OP

2009-03-27T21:38:00.007+07:00

A few days ago KaWanku magazine out and I found Gerard Way pin up in it:

Ordinary thing, eh? Ah, with a face like that, in a glance Gerard looks scary. I thought he styled like that because MCR is a death band or something like that.
WELL.. well.. but.. I think he's cool! I never realised it before. Bah. My sister started laughing when she saw this pin up. I just said, "Why are you laughing?" and she answered, "It's weird." Honestly, I don't know where is the funny is. I remember how was Gerard's face when he's with his blonde hair and it didn't seem cool. Dark hair famous blokes are the best. HAHAHAHA!

Hey, see this. My MCR playlist. Then, I had more than this. But that all was deleted because I willingly said to computer repairer no need to back up the files when he was going to throw off viruses from my computer. HAHAHAHA. That time I really wanted too clean up everything in my computer except my important files. I remembered how many 'nista' songs in my computer previously. And I don't know where those all came from. Laughing Out Loud.

A few days ago, I was chatting with a pretty girl named Yesa *shot*. Suddenly she gave me a link of a picture.

Yesa said, "How geek your idol there." I was just giggled in front my computer hearing words like that. Because that's right. How ridiculous Bden is in that photograph. LOLS.

In this Nothing Day

2009-03-24T17:35:00.005+07:00

Hello, again. Long time no see. With me, Xenia again. Though I'm too longer updating my blog, it doesn't mean I'm lazy to care of it. I have many things to do. Maybe in my computer especially, hahaha. Well, I can't deny that I must study hard. Because mid semester will be started and I have to enjoy that. LOL *with sarcastic rolled eyes*. Wish me luck, everybody.. if you don't mind.
In front of my computer I can't deny that I'm too prolix. I don't know why. I feel somewhat difficult to choose what should I do first. That's why few hours wasted so fast. And sometimes I didn't get the wanted result.
Like now. I'm sitting here. Tomorrow will be two tests. Economics and History. And I haven't study the two of them. Well, in afternoon ago, I opened my economics notebook. But I got overslept. Very funny.
Today I was absent. I got sick. And I must study Economics and History too. No offence.
Bla.. bla.. bla..
Sounds blabbering, eh? Nah. Enough for today. I'm going to study.

Somewhat Heartwarming.. :3

2009-03-14T21:33:00.007+07:00

Gw tadi udah nonton Patd LIC-nya.

And you know what? Gw terharu, entah kenapa. Hahaha. They are bloody awesome.. seriously! I'm fortunate to be one of their fans. Ketika melihat lautan manusia dan Patd mulai melantunkan lagu mereka--walaupun gw ngeliat dari layar kaca--rasanya.. yah.. well. Apalagi kalo dengerin suara Brendon yang bagai beledu emas--hah, maksudnya bukan lembut-lembut gitu yah. Yeah, suaranya bagus. Bahkan lebih bagus dari suara gw *yaiyalah*. Akakakka, itu lebay ga sih? Okeh, skip.

Bagi gw engga penting dapet Patd LIC yang limited edition atau bukan kalo perbedaannya tidak banyak. Yang penting gw bisa memandang wajah Bden yang rupawan dalam jangka waktu yang tidak sedikit, mengesampingkan ngeliat di youtube yang belom tentu video nya itu bagus kualitasnya apa engga. Pokoknya kalo elo itu Patd-enthusiam-fan, beli ini dah. Edeww, Bden, lo tetep idola gw nomor satu deh.

I Got that Most-Wanted-For-Now-On Stuff

2009-03-14T16:32:00.014+07:00

Proudly present: Panic at the Disco Live in Chicago. Hohoho.
You know? Yeah, gw seneng lah akhirnya dapet ini. Lo bisa bilang ini basi kalo elo orang 'luar sana' dan bukan tinggal di Indonesia. Got what I mean? Hell, Panic at the Disco Live in Chicago ini dvd tour patd yang mungkin bisa lo dapetin di toko musik depan rumah jika lo tinggal di Amerika. Dan tidak segampang itu kalo lo tinggal di negara ini. Hard to get foreign stuffs if you're here unless you wanna buy them with Amazon, eBay, and else.

Pas ngeliat harganya di Amazon, engga mahal emang yang limited edition itu. Tapi ditambah biaya pengirimannya jadi tercengang *halah*... yaudah deh gw minta dibeliin aja ama tante gw yang tinggal di Canada, tapi sepertinya dia lupa T_T. Jadi, ya sudahlah. Yahoo Messanger sedang berfungsi dan gw chatting sama Yesa waktu itu. Katanya dia, Panic at the Disco Live in Chicago ada PIM2. Gw girang. Dan beberapa hari kemudian langsung melesat ke PIM. Err, tepatnya gw sama mama, oma, dan sister pergi dulu ke Grand Indonesia nonton The Duchess. Nah lho, lumayan jauh kan dari Grand Indonesia ke PIM. Udah gitu muka gw masam aja pas keliling-keliling PIM1-PIM2 nanya pertanyaan yang sama: 'Ada Panic at the Disco Live in Chicago engga?' dan mendapati jawabannya sama semua: 'engga ada'.

Well, pas gw ke Musiklub yang di PIM2 itu, katanya mas-mas nya emang ada tapi abis. MAYDAY! Yaudah gw tinggalin nomor gw supaya mas-masnya bisa menghubungi kalo patd LIC nya udah dateng. Masih ada secercah harapan lah, tapi sebenernya gw sangsi dikit apakah mas-masnya itu beneran mau konfirmasi atau dia cuma no action talking only! BAHAHAHA. Hari demi hari pun berlalu.. dan gw dapet sms dari Musiklub kalo Patd LIC nya udah ada! Yaudah hari ini pun gw ke PIM2 dan membeli dvd patd LIC nya..

Ini dia gambarnya.

Percaya engga sih gw belom nonton sampe detik gw duduk di depan komputer ini? Halah. Udah yeh, no more patience to wait to watch this xD.

Facts About Myself

2009-02-14T09:39:00.004+07:00

You are Brown Tiger, who get in touch with others with calm attitude.

You are both pure and friendly, and have the atmosphere of motherly tenderness.
Your character seem flexible and gentle, but you are actually someone who has their own opinion, and do not like to lose.
You are not scared of things.
You can steadily lead life to accomplish your goal.
You have the big sister sort of character.
People around you may push you to become their leader, but your sense of organizing people and action is not that strong.
You are confident, and can put to action with perseverance and guts.
You are dedicated to many things.
You can carry out things calmly and steadily at your own pace.
You don't worry about things so much, and possess the talent to combine many factors together to create a new thing.
You are well balanced person.
Nevertheless, you possess feminine atmosphere and are dependent person.
You lack self-support, and therefore you will be good at working in the back-ground.
Men are attracted to your mysterious atmosphere, but you tend to be very careful, and not fall in love too easily.
You are weak on favors, and can not turn them down.
Once married, you will stay at home and be obsessed with children's education.

Wah, hasilnya ternyata banyak yang sesuai sama gw. Kesannya calm tetapi menghanyutkan ya? Haha. Oh ya, Doubutsu-Uranai <<--I got this link from ghina's blog.

Breaking Dawn

2009-02-07T11:59:00.007+07:00

F-i-n-a-l-l-y I accomplished reading Breaking Dawn yesterday. My judment: I AM REALLY DISAPPOINTED T__T. Arrgh, in Breaking Dawn, romance parts between Edward and Bella are just too slightly! Twilight saga is a romantic novel at the point, but Breaking Dawn is more about Bella's child and fighting The Volturis. Hey, it is like reading Harry Potter-Twilight version :| . There are some boring parts too. The fact that Breaking Dawn is the last book of Twilight series make me feel unsatisfied *fake smile* because nothing special in the ending. Well, I know there are some great parts too. I heart Edward and Bella's wedding part :)

Unnoticed

2009-02-06T13:02:00.012+07:00

FUCK.

When you arrived in your school and entered your class, but your close friends didn't even say hello or anything. What do you feel? In my opinion, everybody hate being ignored, rite? That's what I said in one of my previous posts. Gw yakin kok semua orang butuh perhatian. Bahkan orang yang pendiam sekalipun. Dia mungkin begitu karena engga ada yang ngajak ngomong atau nyapa duluan. Dan bukannya dia senengnya begitu. Jangan heran kalo orang kayak gitu bisa berubah 180 derajat pas ngomong sama temen-nya-yang-baik dan interestnya sama. Bisa aja itu cuma luar nya doang dia pendiem -.-

Okeh, sebenernya pembicaraan ini membawa kemana? Well, mendekati yang gw katakan tadi. Kalo berada dalam posisi di 'ignore', dalam hati pasti pengennya ngomong 'I hate everybody today'. Kalo udah dicuekin, kita cuma bisa diem. Sebenernya diem itu menyakitkan kalo elo tanya gw T__T. Perasaan lega bakal dateng kalo ada orang lain yang ngajak ngomong. Hmm.. gw buat perumpamaan dulu ya?

Seorang anak bernama Tatchy mempunyai teman yang bernama Tina dan Trixie. Tatchy adalah seorang anak yang cukup pendiam, tetapi tidak pendiam juga dengan temannya. Tina dan Trixie sangat dekat, bahkan mungkin lebih dekat dari Tatchy sendiri ke mereka. Lama-kelamaan Tatchy merasa dia diabaikan. Kesal sih, tapi dia memilih untuk diam. Tina dan Trixie malah makin mengabaikan Tatchy.

Nah, simpel aja sih itu. Masalah kayak gitu sepertinya banyak dialami orang-orang. Hell, itu terjadi pada gw. Walaupun alasan mereka diemin itu mungkin 'segan kalo ngajak ngomong gw', please lah.. gw malah engga butuh digituin. Mungkin mereka engga sadar, tapi gw diem karena mereka yang nyuekin gw. Dan selama mereka nyuekin gw, mereka kelihatan fine-fine aja. Leaving me, laughing when I was just sitting alone. Tidak ada penyesalan apa-apa dari wajah mereka. Seolah-olah mereka itu engga peduli. Itu yang membuat gw makin bete. Ngajak ngomong dikit kek or ngomong kek 'Xen, lo kenapa?'. Hell yeah, ini bukan yang pertama kalinya. Dan waktu itu gw yang akhirnya ngajak ngomong duluan. Waktu itu juga mereka bersikap seakan tidak terjadi apa-apa. Nah, it repeated, rite? I wanna get attention too, i'm normal. Just gimme a little. Is that hard? Tapi tabu bagi gw untuk mengemis perhatian. Sebut gw punya harga diri =))

Masa gw terus yang harus dateng ke mereka? Mereka mungkin juga ngomong, "Masa kita terus yang harus ngajak ngomong dia?". Gw masih saja menekankan, 'good friend' itu salah satunya adalah temen yang ngajak ngomong(atau seru-seruan kek) semua temennya, semuanya! bukan temennya yang satu itu aja. Mungkin gampang aja ya ngomong, "Yaa lo yang harus ngajak ngomong mereka duluan." shit. why. talking. is. so. easy. Minimal ada yang minta maaf aja itu udah buat gw ngerasa enak..

New Skin

2009-01-26T19:34:00.004+07:00

Yeay, another new skin :D
it's dark. I luv it :-*
really identic with me.
my skin before was a hot-balloon air shade skin.
you've seen it rite?

Award Homework

2009-01-17T15:20:00.003+07:00

Dapet nih award dari Wina lho *apa sih gw* sebenernya males ngerjain =)) tapi yah sudahlah kerjain aja. Duh mata gw kucel karena capek, padahal masih sore. LOL.

1) Put the logo on your blog.
2) Add the link to the person who awarded you.
3) Nominate at least 7 other blogs.
4) Add link to those blog on yours.
5) Leave your message for your nominees on their blogs.

I nominate~~ Arrum, Rachel, Rhea, Dhilla, dan lain-lain yang merasa blog nya cute.

Vrienden

2009-01-13T21:54:00.008+07:00

Friends..

Long time ago, it looked easy to get a friend. I mean, To get along with my friend. My flashback starts--
I was an elementary school student. They were nice to me. Too funny and I usually laugh with them. I was suited with them. No encumrance.

Then, the junior high school has started. Separated with my close elementary school mates. I realised that I have made a mistake. Mistake that could make me very desperate. And it proved. Sorry friends, but I don't really like to be ignored. Not just that, I bloody hate that. I became bloody untalkative. When everybody's talking in the class and i'm just sitting calmly on my chair, what should I do? I.. have.. no.. idea..

Maybe they can't realise it.

But it looked they don't even care about me. Couldn't help with my existence. Therefore, I really appreciate if someone calls my name if i'm just sitting alone on my chair. Really..

I feel alone. Tired.
and no one understands me.

When I don't say anything anymore, my friends don't even speak to me. I don't need respond like that. If she and she and she tries to talk to me, I really appreciate that. I became calm because they ignore me. Nothing else. A good friend is someone who bravely says 'sorry' to their friend. Not someone who's scared to say something to a calm friend and just leave them.

Hate them all.

Pesantren Alam

2009-01-07T19:10:00.002+07:00

Today is Wednesday, and I just got home from the place that called 'pesantren alam cigombong'. Honestly, I didn't really enjoy that pesantren. Kind from its activity or everything related with that. Yeah, it's school's event.

On Monday, 5 January, 2009, the students gathered in the school before. Beuh, I don't believe I was willing to pull my heavy trunk. After said testimony, we got to the bus and spent the trip. I spent the bus trip with calmly. Really, I don't like being in bus! Shakes can make me feel dizzy, and it proved kindly. I didn't even touch my snack -.- . Well, finally, We arrived at pesantren alam cigombong. It's not the first time I get there, yeah.
The activities went perfectly. Yeah, perfect. If you say that's sitting till your feet gone stiffed is cool, you're kind of insane. It was thing that happened with me if too long sit in the hall in that pesantren. Unfortunately, almost all of activities gotta done in the hall. Praying, performing, and bla-bla-bla.

I don't like to be ignored.

Ignored is one of several things that make me didn't enjoy my days in pesantren cigombong. Hmm, maybe that person will read this but wouldn't find the meaning of this.. so maybe that person will just ignore this too. Hahaha, skip, eh? As you wish.
Err, when someone else said that they didn't want to get home, I was just surprised. I really wanted get home, LOLs. Don't dub me as a homesick girl, I was just got bored of being there.

In the last day, I got sick so I didn't join outbond activity. My heart said, "Thank God." rofl. So, I spent my time in the teachers' bedroom, with Angga and Jundi, that were sick too. When suddenly Mrs Sri and Mrs Euis brought us to take a walk, just to see the outbond activity.

--when walking--
Mrs Sri: Ini nih adek-nya Anne *talking to Mrs Euis about me*
Mrs Euis: Anne, Anne yang mana ya? *holding my hand (because I was sick)*
Mrs Sri: Yang bule itu loh
Mrs Euis: Anne yang tinggal nya di belakang ya? *still chuckling*
Xenia: Hah? *getting shock*

I didn't really get what Mrs Euis said during walked or saw the outbond activity -.- . Okay, not really important. So, after EVERYTHING have been finished, we got to the bus and got home. The thing that I've so wanted.

Nu Yeah

2009-01-01T21:38:00.002+07:00

"Happy New Year."

It's been hours since I could hear fireworks noise fulfill the air. New year has came. We've left year 2008 and going to start every-new-things in 2009. Well, I think everybody have their own wishes in this new year. I want to share it in my blog. Don't like, don't see, don't give any comment, especially talk about it behind me.

My great wishes:
1. No more annoying people appear in front of me.
2. No people who boasts so much.
3. Get stuffs that I've wanted :P
4. School's not that rude.
5. Bad things will not happen to me, and my entire family.
6. Getting brilliant and smarter, perhaps.
7. Everything's not going to be complicated.
8. etc?

mood: not that good. don't ask why, thx.

Edited Twilight Pict :3

2008-12-31T19:05:00.001+07:00

This day, I was stuck in my home and I decided to 'hunt' twilight movie pictures in internet. Well, the result, I got some (of course, not hard to seek it). Then, I edited it with my lovely photoshop cs2. Here are the results~

first.
From this:

To this:
second.
From this:

To this:
and the last one.
From this:

To this:

From the three of the twilight pictures that I've edited above, I most love the first picture that includes The Cullens there. Elegant! I edited it with my heart and hand :3 . Well, I'm sure you all can see the differences. If can't, you're not a human. LMFAO. Oh yeah, if you use one of them, you MUST have my permission and credit to me. Those edited pictures are belong to me.

(Click, if you want to see it clearly.)

First Homework

2008-12-28T12:23:00.001+07:00

I got this homework from Dhilla. Here we go..

The questions:

1. Mengapa blog kamu bernama ......?
2. Mengapa blog kamu pakai template ini?
3. Kejadian apa yang tak terlupakan dalam hidupmu?
4. Kirim PR ini ke 10 sahabat blogger!

The answers:

1. vampirehale.blogspot.com

Why oh why I've named it with that name? Because now, gw lagi nge-fans banget ama twilight. Kayaknya udah keliatan yah dari post-post gw sebelumnya, hahah. Apa hubungannya vampirehale ama twilight? Penggemar twilight pasti tauu lah. Vampire-nya itu dari vampir di twilight, dan kalo hale-nya? Dari Rosalie dan Jasper Hale dongg! Entah kenapa gw suka banget nama Hale. That name sounds cool. Orang-orangnya juga keren, Rosalie dan Jasper xD. Nah, kedua kata itu disambungkan menjadi 'vampirehale'. hohoho. Looks cool, doesn't it? And I like it.

2. Bisa liat kan template blog gw ini gambar apa? Edward tersayang dan Bella!! Kalo ditanya kenapa gw masang template ini, yah pasti jawabannya itu-itu aja, karena gw lagi suka Twilight. Gw ngambil template ini dari www.blogskins.com <<--dapet link ini dari Rachel, makasih say :-* ampe dikasih tau cara masangnya -.- . Gw suka banget nih template. Warna-nya itu lho soft banget and gelap-gelap gitu. I think dark is cool. Engga tau sampe kapan template ini bertahan di blog gw =))

3. Well, kejadian-kejadian tak terlupakan yah banyaklah... tapi.. apa yah? Surely, walaupun banyak event-event apalah tapi gw tidak berusaha mengingatnya secara terus-menerus. Let it flow aja. Saking banyaknya sampe gw lupa kan -.- . Ehem, okeh, I try to remember. Waktu gw tk, gw pernah melakukan sesuatu yang memalukan.. oh well, udahlah tidak usah dibahas *dikemplang* (nb:gw memang jaim xp). Pokoknya dari gw tk ampe smp sekarang gw menyimpan memori yang berisi kenangan-kenangan deh! Hello? (xen lu berniat cerita engga sih?) Oh iya, nonton konser Panic at the Disco adalah salah satu kenangan gw yang menyenangkan. Bayangin dong, elo nge-fans sama suatu band dan selama ini lo hanya bisa melihat mereka di youtube, dan tiba-tiba lo bisa melihat mereka secara langsung.. what a--? Gw jadi penggemar Harry Potter, pas gw jadi suka Twilight.. itu semua adalah kenangan yang membuat hidup gw jadi lengkap dan gw merasa tidak bisa memisahkannya dan memilih mana yang paling tidak terlupakan *ciee dulu ah*. Yeah.

4. Oper ke Lulu, Tika semabel, Jundi, Anggi, Tika jp, Rachel. Harus 10 ya? gw nge tag 6 aja yee xP (tapi engga yakin yg gw tag ngerjain semua.)

Becoming Twilight Saga Fans!!

2008-12-27T09:56:00.001+07:00

Well, sebenernya gw udah nonton film-nya dari berminggu-minggu yang lalu. Cuman, you know, gw baru punya blog dari beberapa hari yang lalu. Andddd.. tangan gw sangat gatal untuk mengetik di blog tentang twilight and film-nya yang nge-booming dimana-mana ini. Apalagi ngeliat blog teman-teman IH laen yang pada nge-bahas twilight.

Actually, awalnya gw itu bukan pecinta twilight saga banget. Awalnya gw tau tentang twilight dari mana ya? ehmm, majalah, status orang di Y!M, dan.. kebetulan ada temen sekelas gw yang bawa-bawa tuh buku twilight ke sekolah, dia baca itu di kelas. Kata temen gw itu, baca itu tuh bikin deg-deg-an. yeah, gw tau maksudnya si Edward nya itu romantis banget. Mendengar itu, gw beli deh bukunya di gramedia. Pas gw baca, yah hati gw berkata bahwa alur buku twilight itu biasa-biasa saja, terlalu menarik juga engga kok. Dan waktu itu gw yakin sekali bahwa Twilight kalah menariknya dibanding Harry Potter.

Then, December came. Indonesia telat banget baru ngeluarin twilight di bulan desember.. luar negeri November keluarnya bok. Gw juga nungguin film twilight ini. Nah, akhirnya gw nonton deh film twilight ini di Senayan City bersama mama dan papa (kurang kerjaan banget ya gw masa nonton ama mama dan papa?-.- but, that was real, you know).

--Pas selesai nonton--
Mama: Eh, enak kali film-nya.. cowok-nya ganteng banget!
Xenia: Iya kan, mah..

YEAH! That was absolutely real. I mean, Twilight movie was very spectacular! Damn interesting. Edward Cullen is sooo DAMN hot. Gw naksir banget pas the Cullens (anak-anaknya) pertama kali sampe di cafetaria. OH my God. Dan pas maen baseball!! The Cullens keren banget maennya apalagi Alice yang ngelempar bolanya. Rosalie lucu banget sih gara-gara kalah doank dia masang muka jutek gitu ke Bella. Oh ya, JASPER WHITLOCK HALE elo keren banget say.. walaupun tampangnya kaku gitu.. Jasper yang nguntitin Alice terus di film is so cutee (halah). Emmett gede banget bok. Tapi, kok dia hobinya kalo naik mobil bukannya duduk tapi malah berdiri di.. err.. bagasi (apa itu namanya -.-), bagian belakang mobil itu lho. Hahaha. Kalo Carlisle, dia ganteng buat seorang bapak bener deh!

Semenjak itu, mama gw jadi suka twilight saga. Hello? dua hari setelah nonton, gw dan mama pergi ke gramedia berdua. Dan mama gw langsung beli lanjutannya twilight yaitu New Moon dan Eclipse. What the--? Jadi gw dan mama gw baca ganti-gantian buku new moon dan eclipse -.-; . Mama gw sih baca buku twilight dulu. Nah, kan gw baca new moon.. and my heart said: wiiih, kereen nih lanjutannya xp dan kayaknya gw udah bener-bener suka twilight saga. Di new moon ini, gw agak ber-feeling tidak enak membacanya karena Edward nya ninggalin Bella dan Jacob yang kebanyakan muncul disini, menemani Bella. Tapi lega dong akhirnya karena di akhir-akhir Edward kembali lagi di sisi Bella dan berjanji tidak akan meninggalkannya! Wew. Nah waktu gw baca Eclipse, gw udah addicted banget! Di Eclipse kebanyakan alurnya yang menyenangkan-menyenangkan gitu, jadi enak dibaca. Yeah, walaupun ada bagian dengan Jacob yang.. uhh.. agak membuat gw kesal. Jangan tanya kenapa gw sebel ama Jacob -.- Tapi gw seneng akhirnya Bella punya pendirian dan memilih Edward ketimbang Jacob. BAGOES!

Sekarang gw lagi nungguin Breaking Dawn, the last book of twilight series. Yang versi bahasa indonesia nya belum rilis. Denger desas-desus sih Januari? Hope so. As you see, now I'm a fan of Twilight and its stuff. Bye! XOXO

It Begins

2008-12-25T19:50:00.001+07:00

Finally, setelah mengulur-ngulur waktu berpikir akhirnya gw punya blog juga! Hahaha. Awalnya gw berpikir-pikir buat apaan sih blog, ah nanti kalo engga keurus gimana. But I threw it off from my mind because that was really-really not important. Really, I really want to learn something new that's popular in public. Hari gini engga punya blog? Hello. Beberapa teman gw di kelas udah punya blog duluan daripada gw. And that makes me feel.. weird? (ah masa?). Gengsi dong, ah.

Oh yes, ada satu hal lagi yang telah membuat gw menciptakan blog ini. Jadi gini, gw punya temen-temen di komplek. Kayak perkumpulan remaja mesjid gitu.. (serius lo xen ikutan begituan?wakakka) yeah, gw ikut-ikut aja lah. Padahal gw bukan tipe cewek mesjid-mesjid an gitu, seriously. Hahaha. Tapi yang ikutan ini gokil-gokil taukk.. bukan berarti kerjaannya baca-baca al-quran melulu yah. Nah.. kan ada seorang anak cewek di RIMA ini yang disebelin. Engga usah disebutin yah lah namanya itu siapa.. nanti kalo dia baca blog gw, nah lo! Si cewek ini sok-sok-an stylish, high tech, paling pinter segala macem. Eh, gw kan gak begitu tauk soalnya gw suka absen rapat-rapatnya. Nah, ada temen tetangga gw bernama Bytta yang kira-kira bilang gini ke gw: "Padahal kita semua anak RIMA nge-julukin elo anak paling high tech disini, Xen!"

NAH LO.

Hello? Iyeh gw akuin gw hampir terbang mendengarnya. Tapi, gw engga nyangka mereka menganggap gw seperti itu. Iyeh, gw tauk di depan anak-anak perkumpulan mesjid yg gw gak gitu deket, gw pasang tampang cuek, cool bak Edward Cullen tersayang (beuh!). Sobat tetanggaan gw yang bernama Bytta juga Della memang sering main ke rumah dan memerhatikan bahwa gw duduk di depan komp sambil nge-net dengan website www.indohogwarts.co.nr atau disebutnya IH, suka membaca cerita-cerita berbahasa inggris harpot yang disebut fanfic, dan lain-lain. Mereka tidak mengerti itu dan gw juga susah menjelaskannya. Bytta ever said: "Elo tau yang gitu-gituan, Xen! Trus gw ama della ngomong ke T*** kalo lo jago ngedit foto di photoshop." Yeah gw ngerti kebanyakan anak-anak sekarang maenannya FRIENDSTER!!

You got what I mean?

They dub me as a stylish person! Tau kan apa hubungannya dengan blogging ini? Orang yang high tech pastinya ngerti blogging dong. Hahaha. Apalagi ada orang berkata.. err.. skip aja deh. And, see.. gw mulai blogging. Awalnya gw agak bingung dengan skin, tapi akhirnya gw mulai memahaminya. Kunci dari template blogging yang penting itu kode-kodenya. Gw sedang berusaha untuk tidak bertanya-tanya caranya ini-itu blogging ke temen kelas gw. Ahh, biarlah.

Am I a real high tech person?

(nb: I hope the people that included in this post won't read this xP)