Since I Don't Know What It Should be Titled..
Sunday, 17 April 2011 @ 16:41 | 0 notes

What a fluke, I'm in the mood to report you I'm still alive here. There were things that have happened in this new year, such as ignorance, worst birthday, and worst 1st year anniversary ever. They're the reasons of tears keep falling lately. I'm such a crybaby, I can't deny it. And I don't want to bear the shame of people seeing me crying, so I usually tried to cover it. But there were moments where I couldn't help my self...

2011, 28th March. I should've known that nothing left than just a silent-peaceful birthday with no surprise at all. So many people saying a happy birthday was the best thing that could heal the pain. The pain that was made by a lover who acted careless like an idiot. That afternoon Monday, he came to me and hit my shoulder saying, "Hey, Birthday Girl." And in the middle of the way home, he stopped and gave me a tiny wrapped thing which his friends had mocked at. Really, I didn't expect him to give me a BIG hug-able teddy bear like his sister had. But letting his girl going home by that kind of public transportation, and treating her like they were on the other day... so not my favorite birthday.

It came to the day when it's my first year anniversary with him...

A day before that day, I made a scrapbook contained a story following me and him from the beginning of our meet. The scrapbook was round and cute, I meant it with all of my heart. Although it hadn't been done that day, I still brought it and carried it on at the school. The bell rang as I finished writing "Bima is the father of Vettel & Alice" on the last page. He'd been waiting outside my class. I walked my feet to him, bringing the scrapbook with me. We went silent for a second as I showed it to him. He said, "But I didn't bring anything to you." It didn't matter. As long as you can spend your time with me today, I thought.

"Hey, what is that?" and everyone began to make a crowd, reading my scrapbook. 

"Xenia gives you a nice scrapbook, and you just give her a keychain?" laughed his friends. But he also added another joke to make it funnier, and they burst into laughing. I tried to ignore them as any other of his friend said to him, "You are so mean."

But I saw his eyes turn into glasses-like, trying to stop tears falling from them.

"Sorry we can't go home together today. I must go somewhere. Now."

I cried. I was just thinking how hard my effort to make that friggin' scrapbook done, until I slept late last night. And me, standing here accepting nothing hearing his foot-steps leaving me behind.

But the ending was.....

"I was walking the street on my way home with a shattered feeling, then he turned and got out from his car. Best scene ever."

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